天使与仙人掌

我的仙人掌死了。

它是Angel 多年前送我的一份情人节礼物。

她叫我要好好地看着它直到它开花为止。

其实，它早在数月前便死了。

我问着帮我照顾它的母亲，

"就是这样死了。 长太高了， 然后那天就倒了，断了！"

"那遗体呢？"

"早就丢了！"

惊讶。

从来不知仙人掌是那么容易死的。也许是母亲浇的水太多了。仙人掌是不须那么多水的。

它只须空间与氧氛。

也许吧。

Angel 嘱咐我要把它养好。当花开了就去找她，让她看开花的仙人掌。

也许她早就知道这盆仙人掌是不会开花的。她对我说了个谎。

一个让我不能再见她的谎？

她说仙人掌 hardy and independent。这是她欣赏的性格，也是她希望人人都会有的。

花没开。

我们也断了联络。

我已数几年没遇见她了。

如果寻找你有如寻找小学同学那般简单，那就太好了。

只想了解多年不见的你，最近生活是好。

是否嫁人了？是不是你曾经与我提过的男生？至少我知道你会是幸福的。

也许越是难找你，就是要我越是记得过去的美好回忆。这也可能是在提醒我必须珍惜现在一切美好的东西。

7610

Hmmm, okay the above picture is not a nokia 7610, but my bimbotic s500.

Bimbotic phone:

Looks nice on the outside but lacks the functions on the inside.

Sometimes the '3' dial fails me. I have to press it doubly hard for it to register.

Causing my sms to miss the 'e' here and there whenever i type doubly fast.

Sometimes life still goes on without the 'e'.

And that is seriously sometimes only.

'e' is undeniably the most used letter in english. (just count the number of times 'e' is used in this line)


A young couple set directly across me on the mrt train while on the way home.

The guy was holding a black nokia 7610.

The gal was holding a white nokia 7610.

He feeds the gal sweet

She reads the guy's sms

He uses her 7610 to take his photo.

She uses his 7610 to take her photo.

He hugs her.

She smiles.

He act cute.

She snaps their photo.


Wah...

很恩爱 wor...

Ok, i also wan a camera phone.

Take photos on the train like nobody's business.

Eh, wait.


Who to take photo with me sia?


The order does not seem to be right.

It should be,

Get a partner.

Then, get a camera phone.

Orrrh...

Ic Ic.

时间、地点

I was on my way out of ntu yesterday.

Boarded 179 at the hall 6 bus stop and I got a seat at the rear of the lower deck.

I saw a familiar face, although botak like short hair, but I sort of remembered him.

He did not see me, and I kept my stares at him, until our eyes met.

He gave me the “who is this look”, I kinda stoned, is it him with the so short hair? Should I call his name?

The next thing we did was we shouted out each others name across the back of 179!

“Hey, I couldn’t recognize you, u went for laser eye surgery ah, never wear specs liaoz! Initially I thought you were some familiar guy during army!”

That is what E said after we confirmed each of our identity after not seeing each other for like 5 to 6 years. Never did I expect to see him in ntu, as he was studying in nus. E then told me was on attachment at ntu I2R, this was already his last week. He did know I was in ntu after not having met up for so long and regretted to have missed the opportunity to do so for his entire period of attachment in ntu. I smiled and explained that I was on attachment too, so I was not in ntu most of the time either.

E was a fellow classmate of mine back in the first 3 months on JC. Due to various events I left the college after getting to know super nice friends and having a wonderful time there. The rest eventually got to spend the rest of 2 years of JC together as a class. Even after I left, they still considered me part of the class, jio-ing me on occasional outings here and there.

Coincidentally I started receiving emails from the yahoo group of their class which I subscribed to. Recently, C started to email the group asking for updates of address as she had some invitation to send to everyone interested. I asked E what the invitation was about. I seriously suspected that it was wedding invitation or sort, while E crapped that it could be news of a new born child!

“Eh you never know our class gals meh, never know they could all be already married liaoz!”

Haha

I asked E about some of the other guys in the class. The only person I was still in contact was only R.

E said he was much more in contact with NH2 since both of them were in nus engine. NH2, the nick we gave him while playing the hot Laser Quest back in the good old days, is currently the top student in nus engine, Numbo 1. He was one of the guys who played hard, joked hard and out did everyone in studies.

E then related that most of the class guys who did not do well back in JC were now all doing tops in various faculties. Like Ray who was persistently getting on the dean’s list in arts.

“Hey! Are you still playing the guitar? You remembered “Freight Train”, that you once taught me? I remembered I used to practice diligently back then, haha…” E asked when the bus was nearing his stop.

Instantly the night where we dawned at Ray’s house many years back during our post JC/army time flooded back into my mind. Where the guys told me how I had inspired them to pick up the guitar when I played back in the days at our JC class bench. I felt astonished and paiseh that night as they asked me to play for them. Astonished, as they never told me anything about that after I left the class. Unknowly, they decided to pick up the guitar to play and even to form a band, the POKs, haha I remember! Paiseh, as I sort of stopped playing the guitar for long time. I felt paiseh of myself as I saw how good they have become, even much better than me.

It is usually at some place and some time where we have wonderful memories. Sometimes it is also the same place and same time where we have to leave and sad things tend to linger upon us. Amazingly at a certain place and at a certain time in our lives, these wonderful memories resurface and new memories are forged.

Fast or slow

Today marks the end of 24 wks of industrial attachment.

The actual date should be on 17 June, but i took two days of leave to have an early release.

As the end of attachment drew near, everyone begins to say, “Wah time fly so fast, 6 months just pass like dat…”

Or

“Wah finally... its super long leh, I could wish it was faster! I just can’t wait to go off from work and enjoy my holidays.”

I just thought it these 6 months were just nice. Not too long nor too short. I had my fair share of work and fun. I did not feel that the 6 months flew by fast as I could say I felt that I had tried to do many things. Be it work related or personal stuff, be it successful or unsuccessful. By looking at the calendar, reading my own blog, recalling the things I have done for each month, each week, each day, I could actually feel the presence of time and saw its progress.

Nah, I did not find it super long either. At least I am glad that finally attachment is over and I have successfully complete part of the curriculum. (That is if I pass the attachment module. But who ever fails industrial attachment anyway?) At least I do not have to wake up duper early in the morning, change like Superman to rush out of home in minutes, catch the super pack bus and be greeted with “ugly” Silly-poreans rushing madly in the morning daze like me daily.

I guess those people who said that the 6 months pass by at an instance could be:

1) they miss the company or their colleagues dearly. They have this feeling that they won’t be seeing them again, they develop the 依依不舍 feeling.

2) they have not done anything significant in the past 6 months. Ie. Zo bo lan

3) they(colleagues, workers) did not feel your presence in the office or your work. That is what I felt when this colleague of mine said when I told him I needed help with my clearance. Just to mention I do not really see him at his workstation often either. Smoking and going for early lunch are what I say wor. Not forgetting surfing net, chatting on the phone and listening to music while lots of people are busy.

4) when they had many things to do and the stuff done were really satisfying and enjoyable, to their own extend. In sports, we called it getting the Flow, when long duration feels like very short as you are totally immerse into the action that you are doing. Hmmm, actually getting in Flow could also mean the exact opposite as well.

People who felt that 6 months were super-duper-truly-undeniably-remarkably-disturbingly long time to pass:

1) felt that they were doing shit job. They totally hate it. Totally felt that it was not their field of work. No sense of achievement.

2) their supervisors threated them like dogs, cheap labour. Believe me as I have heard gazillion tales of bad supervisors and work environment. My friend and I were driven almost to the point of setting up a “IA Horror Stories Online Blog” to write down all the stories we have heard or to ask people to share and contribute. Nah, we not so boliao and kaypo.

3) having OT + OT + OT + OT +OT + OT + OT +OT +OT + OT + OT… and then… OT + OT + OT + OT +OT + OT + OT +OT +OT + OT + OT…
Of cause it feels more than 6 months lah…

As I always have said, the journey is always more important. Everyone’s experience is unique in their own interpretation be it good or bad.

Sometimes I believe that path of life that we have to take has already been unknowingly been planned for us. We are just executing this planned path, taking it step by step, it is up to us to experience as much as possible while we journey through this path. Fate? 命运? Something similar, I guess.

This company was actually my 6th choice out of the 10 choices that we have to make prior to the start of the attachment. I could not really remember why I choose this company in the first place. Most probably I just wanted to make up 10 choices; I was probably too confident that I would get the first few companies I had selected anyway. I was really pissed the day when I was not even selected for interview for the company of my 1st choice. I remembered vividly that I complained to my elder brother, saying piss shit of the company and my annoyance of not even giving me a chance to “fight” with the many other students vying for that intern position. My bro consoled me saying that,

“sometimes not getting what you want may actually be a blessing in disguise, what you would get eventually may even be better. I will pray hard for you…”

Ya, I agreed and found logic to what he said. On the account that I usually do not get what I wished for, but somehow things usually turn the better the other way round. At least that is what I usually try to say in order to delude myself when such things happen.

In the end when the company allocation was out, I felt happy that at least I got an MNC and I found out the pay was quite good for an intern. And for my first choice company was actually quite bad, as I heard the number of OTs they had considering the similar pay they are getting.

I met the same super nice HR executive who was still carrying her baby at our first day at work. She has already given birth and back to work when we met her for our employee clearance. Being nice and friendly as before, she happily showed us the picture of her new baby girl taken together with her elder son, after we asked her about her health and her baby.

Yup, both her kids were super cute and beautiful. Best wishes to you and your family!

Like the birth of a new child, the period of attachment was like the birth of a new life. I saw and experienced stuff not being able in textbooks, lectures nor tutorial. Lessons learnt not only could be used at work but to life as well. Like in months of having a baby, there were happy times and there were woeful times, but at the end and fruits of labour were as cute and as beautiful as babies!

Best Wishes to all fellow interns and colleagues!

Masters of the Universe

"By the power of Grayskull...I have the power!!!"

Nope this post is not about how little boys fantasize over He-man...



So what if you are the Masters of the Universe?

I had a rare chance to be having a one on one supper with ah pa.

Over the plate of mixed-grill, ah pa said,

"Wah, your attachment finishing soon? Going to final year, thats fast!"

and of course ah pa said those in mandarin.

I replied, "Ya lor..."

"Planning to further your studies after you graduate?", ah pa questioned.

It was obvious that ah pa wanted to sponsor me to further my studies. Perhaps because he still wanted to work and not retire so soon. He once told me that he planned to retire from work after i have completed my degree, since my elder brother is already married and business these days is kinda hard to go by. It seems like a good time to enjoy life after working hard to have both of his sons throught tertiary education.

I never really thought ah pa would say this to me. It not that i have not thought about furthering my studies by doing a masters degree. I actually thought of doing something totally different from engineering. I need to experience something outside of engine. MBA sounds nice.

But somehow i just do not really want to use my parents hard earned money on my personal pursuits.

I did not want to reject ah pa's well intentions directly, and said "See how lor".

Actually i thought if i did well for the degree and the school wants to sponsor me, i will take it. But then, my grades does not seem to really fit the deal. Much more wannabes out there to fight it out with me.

Or if my future company wants to sponsor me, i will take it. Hmmm, but then life as an engineer?

...Sianz. Hedious. Hectic. Monotonous. Bleak.

Especially after attachment, i finally realise why there is always a need for engineers.

During my freshmen days, i always like to jeer this fren of mine who had the intention of doing an MBA after graduation.

"Siao ah, study so much for what? So what if u as "Masters" of the Universe?".

At that time i had this impression that university would be the last leg of the paper chase, finally the end to gazillion years of endless studying of books. Like to study so much meh?

Come to think of it, ya lor, maybe after graduation, i will just forget the idea of being any Master.

What about Kungfu Master or Masters of the Seas or Old Master Q... ?

Nah,

I'll be a hawker and fry char kway tiao.

I remembered during one of the recent Miss Singapore Universe QnA, one of the gals said if she was left with only $2, she would go buy char kway tiao leh. Ya, maybe she would patronise my store and can delevop some romance from there.

WOHO! Swee.

But of course, i did not want to tell ah pa my Master of Char Kway Tiao dream. I know what to say and what not to say to avoid any lecturing of how difficult life is to be to own a business, how studying for so long and having a degree would have a secure job...

blah blah...

Little Boy

Kids always show their true self and feelings so easily to everyone. Especially to those that show love to them.

I got to realise and learn something thoughtful from a little boy i met that day at the archery shooting range near the place of work.

The little boy got my attention that night after work, as he was dare enough to stand and shoot with me, the "big kor kor", who was shooting with a much bigger n fiercer bow than his. He was a left handed archer and thus stood face to face with me, a right handed archer. Thus, i could see his every action while he shot.

This primary school boy had his mother with him at the range, sitting patiently behind him throughout the practice.

This little boy was really cute. Constantly looking back at his mom for every bad arrow then went. Ever so often he would show her the "i dunnoe why it went like dat" look. Once the boy whined to her, saying,

"How come the arrow dun go straight? Dunnoe why like dat?"

While the mom would patiently giving him support saying, "Are you aiming at the centre? Try and shoot straight..."

I stood there shooting my shots while enjoying the little conversations between mother and son.

It got me thinking how mothers unquestionably spend their precious time on their children. Always by their side no matter what happens, giving them the support that they children needs on whatever they do. Archery is not a sport that people can enjoy by watching if they do not know much. Nor is it easy to understand the way of shooting well by just seeing. However the boy's mom chose to accompany the boy to the range even with out much knowledge on archery on a late working night. She showed her encouragement by just watching, never asking for return.

Reflecting to the good old days as a little boy myself. One day, i suddenly told my mom i wanted to learn to play the guitar. She never questioned or discouraged me at my young age but took me the yamaha school the very next day to sign up for a classical guitar course. I remembered i was still in primary school then but i just can't really remember what drove me to want to learn the guitar.

And so i signed up for a beginner course and after the first lesson she bought me a guitar. Spending $100+ on some pieces of wood and metal strings seems a luxury to kids back in my days. Furthermore my mom would always take time to accompany me to the guitar lesson each week. These night guitar lessons were about 1 hr and she would always wait patiently to fetch me home after the class. This went on from my first beginners course to my last advance course.

Looking to the present, so often do i give my mom excuses that i am tired or i have personal stuff to do whenever she wants me to help her with something or to accompany her to go somewhere.

"Later, lah", "see how lah", were used so often that they have become so natural and immediate to me on responding to any of her requests.


Is it so hard for us to just stop and see what our loved ones have done for us? It could even be twice as difficult to see what we have done for them.

The time that moms have spent on us is so much that we can never measure up in our lifetime.